Four Tracks to Tackle Decision Indecision

I received an offer to serve on the board of a local non-profit that advances the gospel to women in need around the world. It was a dream come true! My heart was screaming, “Yes!” but my reality was whispering, “No.” I was torn between the two, and I knew I needed God’s direction, or else it could be disastrous.

When it comes to difficult decisions, sometimes we instinctively know the answer, but when things are less clear, how can we evaluate our options with greater clarity?

Here are four tracks to tackle decision indecision.

1. Pray and Wait

I’ve inflicted considerable stress on myself and my family by haphazardly saying yes to good assignments that weren’t God’s assignments for me. Some were solicited, while others were self-imposed due to my desire to feel important or valued, which often comes from comparing myself to others. Sometimes, I overestimate the significance of other people’s work and lives, and impulsively create ways to compensate for my own insecurities or feelings of inferiority. Often, I’m oblivious to what I’ve done until I become momzilla.

The consequences of following a whim can impact our health, marriages, families, and capacity for excellence with current responsibilities and commitments. For Saul, who “broke faith with the LORD…and did not seek guidance from the LORD ” (1 Chronicles 10:13-14 ESV), it cost his life.

A pray-and-wait first response benefits everyone. Do you deliberately ask God about attractive invitations or inspirations? This may be the only track you need.

2. Solicit prayer and input from those close to you who know your schedule, responsibilities, challenges, and blind spots.

Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, and 24:6 assure us that our plans are established and we can find safety in “the multitude of counselors.” This doesn’t replace our need to pray, but God sometimes speaks to us through others. As a Jesus-loving, Bible-following, tough-love-risking friend prayed with me, God gave her the wise words I needed to hear. I am thankful for godly friends who know me well, pray when I ask, and bravely and graciously offer honest feedback.

Are you vulnerable and transparent with someone else who will speak to God and then speak truth to you, even if it might be hard for you to receive?

3. Respect your “lot” lines.

As a builder’s wife, I picture a land survey when King David says, “The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance” (Psalm 16:5-6 ESV). Lots have clearly established boundary lines. Stay inside the lines, and it’s pleasant. Outside those lines, it can quickly become unpleasant.

This exercise helped me as I waited and prayed.

• On a blank piece of paper, mark the corners of your “lot” with a dot. This may include non-negotiables like child of God, marital status, kids/family, job, ministry, etc.
• Connect your corner markers with words or phrases that describe the responsibilities that constitute your boundaries. For example, between my child-of-God and wife markers, I would write, “daily time with God, margin for James (my husband).” Between wife and kids, I would write, “Stay in touch and protect unscheduled time for their needs.”
• List new opportunities outside your boundary lines and ask God what belongs inside or outside the lines.

Clear lot lines often reveal clear answers. Are you clear on your “lot lines,” and do you trust God to assign opportunities?

4. If you’re burdened to say yes but need to say no, ask God, “Is there a yes I can give?”

A friend recently wrestled with an appeal to serve at a ministry’s holiday event. She needed to say no, but felt like she couldn’t. As she considered the yes she could give, she recruited a few older kids in her place. The ministry had help, and my friend remained focused on her higher-priority yeses to God.

Years ago, a pastor asked me to serve in a leadership role at church. I wanted to say yes, but I knew I couldn’t commit the time and care the team deserved. I declined the request but offered an alternative “yes” that I could give. They graciously declined, but I had peace about God’s plans for both of us.

The Lord knows all things, including how he’ll use a “no” for good. Could you consider a different “yes” if your answer needs to be “no”?

Ironically, as I prayed about whether I would accept the offer to serve on the board of the non-profit, I impulsively registered for Champion Forest’s Let’s Talk conference. As it approached, I was overwhelmed with the potential fallout of two days away from work and my to-do list. I began to regret my decision to say “yes” to the conference, but I knew God would probably use the conference in a unique way in my life (even though I failed to follow my own advice to ask him about it first).

On the second day of the conference, God used H.B. Charles, Jr.’s teaching on preaching to answer my decision dilemma. Charles challenged participants to be good stewards of the one thing we’ve been given to do. For me, that’s teaching God’s word. Then he said, “Do not deflect from the word, no matter how good the cause or great the need.” Immediately, I knew I had to say no to the non-profit’s offer so that I could honor my “yes” to faithfully teach God’s word.

If certainty eludes you, faithfully pursue what God has already given you to do, and trust him to direct you according to his perfect and pleasing will. He will.