The word “hospitality” often causes anxiety for introverts. If you are an introvert, you may wonder if it’s even possible for you to excel in showing hospitality toward others. You may think you just don’t have this spiritual gift or feel the idea of hospitality is overwhelming. Let me give you some encouragement: Just because something may not be your strongest spiritual gift does not mean you shouldn’t do it at all. You may just have to work a little harder at it, and it might not come as naturally to you as it does to others.
Several months ago, I took a spiritual gifts assessment, and although I knew what my strengths and weaknesses were years ago, I wanted to see if anything had changed. Nothing had changed. My strongest spiritual gift is hospitality, and my weakest is teaching. So, what was I supposed to do when our women’s ministry director asked me to speak at an event on hospitality? I felt conflicted because I was given an opportunity to share what I’m most passionate about, but I had to use my weakest spiritual gift to do it. I will be honest; I may have cried a little initially, just thinking about getting up and talking in front of people. But I knew God wanted me to do it, and it caused me to do a lot of praying and relying on Him, not my strength. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” If God calls you to do something, he will equip you.
Maybe you have never opened yourself up to hospitality because you’re an introvert. Perhaps it’s because you don’t think you have the spiritual gift of hospitality. Or maybe you think you have nothing to offer. I assure you that no matter your circumstances, you can still show hospitality in ways you may have never considered. Here are a few tips for beginning your journey to hospitality:
1. Pray
If you are still trying to figure out where to start with hospitality, this is a good place. Ask for God to provide an opportunity to show hospitality and ask him to give you the right attitude about it. It is easy to be selfish when it comes to giving our time, especially when it is something we are uncomfortable with. Ask God to help you to be selfless and lead you in the steps of hospitality.
2. Establish a plan
You’ve heard the expression, “If you fail to plan, plan to fail.” This is true, especially when trying to do something that does not come naturally. Sit down with your calendar and your family to plan. Decide if you want to invite someone over or meet somewhere else. Will you be cooking or simply calling a restaurant for a reservation? Know what needs to be done and plan ahead to avoid unnecessary stress. If you don’t have a plan, it will not happen.
3. Know your boundaries
If hospitality is new to you, plan a small event. Don’t compare your efforts to someone else who may have a more natural inclination towards hospitality. The goal is to show kindness and care for someone else.
4. Ask for help
If you find yourself volunteering to open your home to host a Bible study fellowship or similar event, do not feel overwhelmed by thinking you must do everything yourself. Ask two or three people in the group to help by coming over ahead of time to help set up or ask everyone attending to bring food so you don’t have to prepare everything yourself. Ask a friend who is extroverted or hosts parties and gatherings often for advice. More experienced people can offer wisdom and may extend more help than you think.
5. Be okay with imperfection
Your plans do not have to be Pinterest-perfect, nor does your home. Make an effort to clean and declutter if inviting people into your home. If you have kids, this is a great time to teach them about hospitality by including them in the preparation. Even children as young as one or two years old can clean up if you teach them. It is also a good idea to make sure your home smells inviting. This may mean you grab a few air freshener plug-ins or bake some cookies right before guests arrive. The key is not to be perfect but to have a warm and welcoming atmosphere.
6. Speak life
Do not talk about yourself too much. Put the focus on your guests. Ask questions about them, their families, and their lives. Show genuine interest in others and speak encouraging words to your guests. Please do not make it a gossip session.
7. Allow time for rest after hosting
My highly extroverted husband is a “yes person”, and although I love showing hospitality toward people, I need time for rest. My husband could have people over every day of the week. I can’t. I need time to recover and “recharge my social battery” after an event. Sometimes, it is okay to say “no” to prevent burnout or a bad attitude. Do not book back-to-back events to host if you know you will need some downtime to recover.
As the holidays are approaching, I encourage you to look for ways to show hospitality towards others. It may be hosting a family gathering or taking Christmas cookies to a neighbor. Whatever you do, pray that God blesses your efforts and gives you a desire to continue showing hospitality.
